New start

Greetings all!

Haven't written in my blog in a very long time.  I have decided this blog keeps me in check with myself and keeps me honest to myself.  I have been in a slump for well over a year since my past weight loss journey.  The weight has creeped back on..not all but enough!  I had a re birth so to speak earlier this week that has me on the motivation train. I have avoided my doctor for well over a year ...ashamed at my failure and disappointment .  I made the  trip to the new clinic where he moved to. The easy way out would be to go to a new doctor that took his place but I decided to toughen up and face my demons and return to the one who helped me he first time.  Sitting in the office waiting room, sweating and anxious as ever..I was a wreck! Thank god for Genna lee there to tell her mom it was ok! :-)   So I finally get called back..new nurse I have never met takes me back and f course my blood pressure was outrageous to which I told her I wasn't surprised due to my horrible anxiety of being there. She knows nothing about my past so of course she asks if they made me nervous. To which I exploded in tears and sobs that I hadn't seen Doctor since I put all this weight back on. The poor nurse ..lol..she was hugging me and handing me tissue  probably thinking I was a crazy nut case. I kept apologizing  and she was trying to console me with that confused look on her face.  So she leaves the room as I am still wiping my eyes and sobbing and the good doctor walks in a few minutes later with a big smile ..." I here your in here bawling because your so glad to see me" !  I cry more! lol he precedes to tell me I am very normal and he was glad to see me and glad I came back! Told me sometimes it takes a few tries to get where we need to be and that I wasn't the only one. Ok, made me feel better! I was now able to talk. :-). We made a plan that isn't really too much more that what I already knew what to do.  It took getting that off my shoulders and facing my demons and facing the doctor who i respect so much for helping guide me to a place where i felt so good a few years ago. I will go back in 4 weeks for a check up and hopefully some results and hopefully the blood pressure 
better!   Sooooo..here I am..just keep swimming on the long and winding road!  Peace Love and Happiness!